With this being the final week of school before summer break, I was hoping you could give me a bit of last-minute advice. Last summer, a guy from my hometown and I got really close. We spent almost every day together and on my last night of the break, before coming back to school, we hooked up. We messaged a little as I was moving into my dorm, but nothing after that. When I go home this summer, how do I approach him? I wouldn’t mind picking up where we left off, but how do I do it?
Dear Nervous Natalie,
First off, don’t assume that he will be single. So, do not get your hopes up. It would be very disappointing to arrive home, hoping to rekindle a relationship, and then realize that he is taken. Play it cool. When you arrive back home, spend time with your family and try to find out what he’s been up to. This will give you an idea about what to expect.
After a few days have gone by, shoot him a text. If he replies, make casual conversation. Propose a hangout and see what he says. If he is into it, then you may have the green light, considering the fact that if he had a girlfriend he may have denied your request. If he refuses the offer, then realize that a whole year has gone by and he has moved on. Don’t feel offended, just accept his answer and make plans with friends.
If he agrees to hangout, try to keep it friendly and unintrusive. You have to build back up to where you left off. It won’t just happen. This could take a while or not long at all, depending on the two of you. The best relationships come from good friendships, so attack the conversations with nothing more than a friendship in mind. Don’t show a more-than-friends interest until outer clues have made it clear that he is interested.
If you hangout and no sparks fly, don’t be disappointed. Accept the friend zone and make some new memories together. If you feel like you can’t do this because of the past, don’t abruptly stop talking but slowly begin to phase him out.
Readers: Thank you for reading my column this semester. I will be back in the fall semester with all new advice and maybe a new twist or two.